Wow - I just re-read my entry from early yesterday and I don't even recognize that person.  I cannot believe how depressed I sounded.  If you met me, you probably wouldn't believe it was the same person that wrote that.  I think it was just really hard to admit where I am and it came through in that post.

 

I'm doing much better today.  I had about 12 oz of diet pepsi and I refilled my cup with water and a lemonade mix-in. By the way....that's my shopping tip of the day.  Walgreens has the Wyler's light singles to go, back in stock and they are a lot less expensive than Crystal light.  It's only $1 for a package of 10.  I actually enjoy water, but the mix-ins are a nice treat and a great way to help me get back into the water habit.

 

Wednesdays are crazy at our house so I didn't really try to do any modified exercise or anything, but I'm contemplating testing out the stationary bike tonight.  We'll see how it goes.

ok so maybe facing the bullet and confessing here, got things going for me.  Shortly after I wrote that entry, I poured out the rest of my diet pepsi and refilled my cup with ice water...just drank the last little bit of the 32 oz!!  That's probably more water than I have drank in a week. I also emailed my ww leader and got her advice about weighing in with my extra apparel (boot/cast).  I'll go back next Thursday and face the scale.  Just facing those things has helped to lift my spirits.

 

Goal number 1: continue with the water.

 

Hubby is home and we're having steak for dinner tonight, so I'm not making any food goals... oh wait.. yes I will.... I won't eat any of his cadbury eggs...I won't eat ANY candy for that matter.

 

Ok, I've said it, now I have to do it.

It's official.  I have become that which used to drive me crazy...yep...me....  I used to get kind of frustrated with trying to find someone to be a workout/diet/motivational buddy.  I was always the one who followed the plan and had to play cheerleader for everyone else.  I heard all the excuses and while I never really judged anyone for that, I soooo longed to have someone who could be equally motivated.  That's why I was sooooo excited when Biggest Loser started the million pound match-up.  What a perfect opportunity to find like minded individuals with which to share this journey...

 

yea, well... I have become the one with a million and one excuses for not getting with the program. 

 

First it was plantar fasciitis,

then I got sick,

and then...just a two short weeks after I got a cortisone shot that made my foot feel oh so much better....and 6 days before I was going to resume my life, my walking, my diet.... I broke my other ankle.  One has to wonder why I couldn't just break the foot that was causing me all the trouble in the first place.  It's the one that needs the rest anyway.

 

Somewhere along this painful journey, I have completely lost focus on every other aspect of eating healthy too.  I think I just started to get frustrated and I was tired of being in pain all the time.  In my defense, I rallied on, in pain, for 7 months before I finally started to hit a wall.  Even then I made a half-hearted attempt for a while, but then I just kept getting pushed back and I gave up.

 

At first I just stopped counting points.  Then I added a few treats.... and lately.... I've been really enjoying potato chips, easter candy and diet pepsi.  Honestly, I really think that the diet pepsi may be the key... I used to allow myself one a day.  Lately, it's all I drink.  Very little, or no water at all and all diet pepsi, all the time.  The question is...  Is diet pepsi the culprit or the symptom?  It's kind of like the chicken and the egg.

 

I guess I'm finally getting to a point where I'm willing to admit where I am so that I can move forward.  I actually logged in here and I even read a few of my favorite weight loss blogs.  Yesterday I felt extremely full and bloated and I really hadn't eaten much.  I think my body is just rebelling against all the crap I've been giving it. 

 

I have two and half weeks left in my stabilizer boot and then I imagine I'll be able to start exercising again.  The sprain was much worse than the break.  The break is pretty minimal and they aren't even 100% positive it's a new injury.  I think the sprain will make a few things hard for a while, but I should be able to do the elliptical and walk... my only concern is the added stress that it has put on my other foot.  It feels 90% better since I got the shot.  I can get out of bed and walk, with no pain, first thing in the morning.  I just have an area on the other side of the heel that has been flaring up.  I'm hoping it's just part of the healing process......

 

And so there we are..... I'm ready to at least own up to where I am....Now it's time to work on a new plan and get back to business....